My old thing is ruining everything in my life right now....
I am irritated, and I am typically not an irritated person and I hate being irritated and irritable, lets face it the ish ain't cute....
I'm emotional...red eyes do not a new date make....
I'm crazy, I'm questioning everything I know...I even contemplate getting back with him....
Us getting back together is NOT a good look, it's not going to happen if it happened, I would be the most miserable chick in the world...I freaking know this, so why do I act like I want to be back with him????
I feel like I'm freaking CRAZY, I know I'm ready to be ON TO THE NEXT ONE
I'm just scared of what I do not know, we haven't been together for the last 2 years....and also, I haven't slept with him since last March...so what the fuck do I think I'm not walking away from??? I mean I've already clearly walked away from the situation, so why am I acting as though the world will crash if I fully & completely walk away and leave the past behind me...
WHAT AM I AFRAID OF????
I don't like this feeling and I'm not sure of what I really think is going to happen...
I know that this is not the love of my life anymore, I know that this person is extremely selfish, I know that he is sooo full of his self that he thinks he's right about everything, he does not fight fair, he's a bully, I know that he thinks he knows everything...I believe that his general bad attitude is holding him back from everything....
I know that I am decisive & haste....but I cannot keep regretting, I feel fear and remorse for so many things that we have been through, but I also know I was not in a relationship by myself and I cannot control & create a perfect relationship for two, when I am only one!!
I GOTTA GO, GOTTA LEAVE....I'm soooo ready for something NEW!!!! OLD must roll out...I'm not taking this to my birthday
hmmmmm......well HE can't be a good friend to you. He seems to call only when he needs sumthing? Or cant figure out a bill or a bank, or perhaps some dessert time. NOT ok. I know you know hes not the ONE anymore. But there is and always be SOMETHING there. And that's y its MUCH. You wants my advice? (probably not, and especially cause in dont take my own) But, dont give in. DOnt make it an option.
ReplyDeleteBut if you do, its not because you failed, it just was meant to be. Even if just for A MOMENT OF TIME.