So I’m trying to get over big D while flirting and trying to get him places with me. So duh it’s not working.
My birthday was…I let other things get into my birthday…I don’t know why I ever told Steph it was cool to call him to hang with us, I don’t know why I ever even for a thought a second or a breath really thought he was going to come. So I’m irritated with me, I’m mad at me and I really want to back off of big D cause obviously he’s currently getting too much thoughts and that’s not good for my moving past this relationship so …ok today I told him
I gave someone my number and they haven’t used it and I’m kinda ticked cause I was fa sho they were going to use it. IRRITATED. I’m telling him to give it back! Grrrrr
So I had a relaxing week…my allergies are letting up, I drank some wine and felt good, I swam and relaxed in the hot tub and with a really nice Swedish massage & hour long facial!!!! Mmmmmm….it was a nice vacation!! I am blessed and thankful that I was able to spend this time! I really didn’t think about anything, I relaxed let the mind be free, I facebooked, no computer games though, I surfed very minimally on the iPhone…but not a lot at all…I’m typing this as I’m cleaning out my documents folder on the laptop, it’s been 3 years with us together and it needs to be cleaned up of some files and reorganized a bit, so I’m working it out, gotta get my tech fix in and be productive on my relaxing vacay…
From the relationship playbook tonight – the more we work on what we should be, the less we’ll feel the need to hide what we are. I’m working on what I should be, my best me.
I’ve lit the last fire of the vacation. I guess I’m ready to head home, but more than anything I’m more motivated to buy a house. I need to be in my own life, on my own schedule, living how I need to be. I’ve a business to start a degree to finish, some art and sewing to study, I like my own life, not my mothers or my sisters my own life. I need to live the life that motivates me.
So my birthday is a big thing for me. The goals for my life is to keep my workout momentum, get to stepping, summer is coming, you’re cute, but you could be cuter…get to steppin!!!! When I quit smoking I put off working out and eating right, a lot of it I allowed to be an excuse since quitting smoking, but today it’s time to let that go, I quit smoking over a year ago. What’s the purpose of being a fat ass non smoker? NONE! So get on it!!!
I’m moving on past Big D. I’m done; no I don’t think he will show up anywhere in support of me! No I won’t ask, no I won’t expect, no I will not entertain those thoughts, I was letting myself get sucked up, but I must not! We had been flirting pretty heavy, but guess what I’m done, he won’t get to experience all that we’ve teased the last week or so…oh well you’re bad and actually if you wasn’t always acting so damn scared to leave the forkinghouse we would have been done it..OH
Happy day and thanks for all that I was able to enjoy, thanks for the travelling grace, thanks for the ability to take the trip I am blessed beyond belief, I know that I am lucky that I have so many things in my grasp that others do not and for that I am thankful and I’m off to bed. I hope I can get up at 8 and take advantage of the gym and one last time in the pool would be a treat…I’ma try but it’s after midnight, but I’m tired…and a little drunk…goodnight – I’ll be posting from home, no internet on this trip!
I’m looking at my timed fire and thinking about the many properties I’ve seen with fireplace’s I wonder how hard it might be to make them a pretend fire that throws heat? I really have been enjoying this, I think it’s gas and it’s warming up the room one hour at a time. I would just like to turn it on and then off when I’m done. P on the list to check on when I am upgrading my new house…
Goodnight!
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