scattered

so again i'm nervous that what i want and what i did meet...i thought i gave this away, it's not a testement of faith, but that pit in the bottom of my stomach when the thought creeps...it's 4 hours before the alarm will sound and i'm UP!

my mind is scattered that's why things are getting to me as they are. i must settle my whole entire freaking world...i'm a MESS and not only because of the self sabatoge, but other things that are not as they should be...i need to get on track, school, work, sewing :D

saving is my focus of the right now, i've taken lunch every day for the last 2 week +...i'm getting it in...only .6 worth this week, but man oh man i have all week to do it again :D

just totally cheered myself up :D gonna go to bed after a period of meditation and prayer...being thankful for what i have acheived in the last 2+ weeks and the focus on the more i can do and will soon be doing as second nature...MORE means alot...more taking care of business, more school focus, more over all focus, more taking care of business...MORE...you know TK

going to bed now, to dream of that which i want and the path to getting it...business, financial, savings, house, man with .......********** everthing that God brings to me that's my biggest want! just cause i want doesn't mean i'm demanding, we have to want to get, to know how to achieve to have a focus, we want jobs, we want life...<<<~~~~not too sure what took me to the left (white guilt? , lmao) silly...

goodnight